brave Thakur from Sholay
cried out in dismay
when his hands were severed
and dropped like big brown turds
he rued “Gabbar, you robber
now you I can’t even clobber!”
the dacoit grinned and said
“though you’d prefer me dead
I’ll surrender to you alive
if you give me a high five”
so when Thakur got back
he prayed for a heart attack
for he felt like a prize fool
like Nat Geo’s stupidest mule
especially when a beggar begged for alms
or the astrologer asked for his palm
or when his gym coach asked him to flex
or whenever he saw his Rolex
and during occasions festive
he felt he didn’t want to live
like when it was rakhi
and he had to offer his knee
or when he ordered his beer
he couldn’t clink and do cheers
but yet he was stoically fine
till the waiter asked for his sign
and he felt it quite wrong
when on a really tough song
Indian Idol thought he was a lousy singer
and he couldn’t show them the finger
and his heart quivered and broke
as he heard even sardars joke
for how could it ever be right
to say Thakur wasn’t cut out for a fight?
and woe, when he wanted to scratch
his long leonine pubic patch
for he had to go shamefully rub
against a nearby neighbourhood shrub
and though he wasn’t one to fuss
he didn’t quite like the cactus
or the mongrels who’d gape in awe
at this critter without a paw
and he couldn’t even hurl a stone
or call the dog pound on his phone
and he remembered the disgrace
when a mosquito sat on his face
and bit and buzzed in his ear
and flew off wiggling its rear
next, he realized she was the wrong girl
when for his gift of glittering pearls
his fiancée bought him a cheap ring
and laughed as he stared at the thing
worse was how he dripped in the hall
from 365x24x7 nightfalls
as it’d been a really long wait
since he last did masturbate
and the bigger, seminal issue
was that he couldn’t reach for the tissue
and yes, he felt very shitty
when he was asked to be the celebrity
as Nokia advertised with glee
for their new innovative hands free
and yet for all this, deep inside
there still raged his fiery pride
and he’d give his right arm to have slapped
anyone who called him handicapped.
ram cobain
cried out in dismay
when his hands were severed
and dropped like big brown turds
he rued “Gabbar, you robber
now you I can’t even clobber!”
the dacoit grinned and said
“though you’d prefer me dead
I’ll surrender to you alive
if you give me a high five”
so when Thakur got back
he prayed for a heart attack
for he felt like a prize fool
like Nat Geo’s stupidest mule
especially when a beggar begged for alms
or the astrologer asked for his palm
or when his gym coach asked him to flex
or whenever he saw his Rolex
and during occasions festive
he felt he didn’t want to live
like when it was rakhi
and he had to offer his knee
or when he ordered his beer
he couldn’t clink and do cheers
but yet he was stoically fine
till the waiter asked for his sign
and he felt it quite wrong
when on a really tough song
Indian Idol thought he was a lousy singer
and he couldn’t show them the finger
and his heart quivered and broke
as he heard even sardars joke
for how could it ever be right
to say Thakur wasn’t cut out for a fight?
and woe, when he wanted to scratch
his long leonine pubic patch
for he had to go shamefully rub
against a nearby neighbourhood shrub
and though he wasn’t one to fuss
he didn’t quite like the cactus
or the mongrels who’d gape in awe
at this critter without a paw
and he couldn’t even hurl a stone
or call the dog pound on his phone
and he remembered the disgrace
when a mosquito sat on his face
and bit and buzzed in his ear
and flew off wiggling its rear
next, he realized she was the wrong girl
when for his gift of glittering pearls
his fiancée bought him a cheap ring
and laughed as he stared at the thing
worse was how he dripped in the hall
from 365x24x7 nightfalls
as it’d been a really long wait
since he last did masturbate
and the bigger, seminal issue
was that he couldn’t reach for the tissue
and yes, he felt very shitty
when he was asked to be the celebrity
as Nokia advertised with glee
for their new innovative hands free
and yet for all this, deep inside
there still raged his fiery pride
and he’d give his right arm to have slapped
anyone who called him handicapped.
ram cobain
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