yelled the wood to the axe
what’s with all these whacks
for god’s sake
I’m getting a headache
can’t a tree quietly relax?
------
the thorn proposed the porcupine
if I were to honestly opine
you’re a beautiful lass
but what’s that on your ass
all sticking out in a line?
------
the body enquired of the grave
I may sound like a knave
but do you think they’d be happy
if I make it sweet and snappy
and poke out for one last wave?
------
the victim threatened the noose
quickly, before I blow my fuse
loosen these knots
It’s getting real hot
or should I cook your goose?
------
rambled the drunk to the gutter
what’s with that stupid stutter
stop your din
my head already spins
nary a word shall you utter!
------
cried the dick to the hand
why don’t you understand
that it’s not nice
to be surprised
and made to suddenly stand.
------
the philanderer begged his wife
I swear upon my life
my ways I’ll mend
I won’t screw your friend
so put away that knife
------
optimism told fate
you’re really great
you’re Destiny
but I think you’re plan B
and this time you’re late.
------
reed complained to grass
it’s such a farce
we both grow in dirt
on lovely planet earth
so how come you fly ‘em to mars?
------
the mouse turned to the cat
and wondered to him that
how in a world so vast
he didn’t have any class
and still chased rats?
------
Romeo to Juliet
how can I forget?
your blue eyes
your loving sighs
your sexy friend Georgette?
------
ass laughed at tissue
I’m mightier than you
on your face I slap
my foulest fetid crap
and get away too!
------
wolf to little red riding hood
offered, “if only you would
give me a blow
and then swallow
I won’t have you for food.”
------
song told limerick
you untalented prick
your 5 stanza rhymes
nary worth a duplicate dime
god, you make me sick
limerick replied to song
that’s where you’re wrong
with your repetitive chorus
oh how you bore us
you’re garrulously long!
------
the world told me
your effortless poetry
makes our day
and so we pray
for a longer verse to see
ram cobain
what’s with all these whacks
for god’s sake
I’m getting a headache
can’t a tree quietly relax?
------
the thorn proposed the porcupine
if I were to honestly opine
you’re a beautiful lass
but what’s that on your ass
all sticking out in a line?
------
the body enquired of the grave
I may sound like a knave
but do you think they’d be happy
if I make it sweet and snappy
and poke out for one last wave?
------
the victim threatened the noose
quickly, before I blow my fuse
loosen these knots
It’s getting real hot
or should I cook your goose?
------
rambled the drunk to the gutter
what’s with that stupid stutter
stop your din
my head already spins
nary a word shall you utter!
------
cried the dick to the hand
why don’t you understand
that it’s not nice
to be surprised
and made to suddenly stand.
------
the philanderer begged his wife
I swear upon my life
my ways I’ll mend
I won’t screw your friend
so put away that knife
------
optimism told fate
you’re really great
you’re Destiny
but I think you’re plan B
and this time you’re late.
------
reed complained to grass
it’s such a farce
we both grow in dirt
on lovely planet earth
so how come you fly ‘em to mars?
------
the mouse turned to the cat
and wondered to him that
how in a world so vast
he didn’t have any class
and still chased rats?
------
Romeo to Juliet
how can I forget?
your blue eyes
your loving sighs
your sexy friend Georgette?
------
ass laughed at tissue
I’m mightier than you
on your face I slap
my foulest fetid crap
and get away too!
------
wolf to little red riding hood
offered, “if only you would
give me a blow
and then swallow
I won’t have you for food.”
------
song told limerick
you untalented prick
your 5 stanza rhymes
nary worth a duplicate dime
god, you make me sick
limerick replied to song
that’s where you’re wrong
with your repetitive chorus
oh how you bore us
you’re garrulously long!
------
the world told me
your effortless poetry
makes our day
and so we pray
for a longer verse to see
ram cobain
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