unsolved

this tale’s strange but every word’s true

there was once a man who ejaculated glue

every spurt was a sticky sordid story

covered more in ignominy than in glory

like when he shot off with high horny feeling

there it teased and tattled from bed to ceiling

verily it was the greatest Indian rope trick

a seminal saga that left the onlooker sick

even when he leaked quietly into his left hand

there it lay gleaming like a diamond in the sand

the post office used him to gum their stamps

till his pecker finally protested citing cramps

his adhesive was a grand hit during art class

it could bond everything from grain to glass

a couple of swift tugs, and his coppery rope

was rumored to mend even broken hope

but for all its uses the enigma remained

(The Confounding Case of the Underwear Stained)

many doctors came – please pardon the pun

even military intelligence examined his gun

while voodoo shamans left in shamed haste

unable to decode the puzzle of his paste

talk had it only one lady knew really why

so they trooped to her with a plea and a cry

‘solve this mystery!’ thus they appealed

but her red ruby lips stayed smilingly sealed.

ram cobain

(Pic courtesy Deborah Azzopradi via Wikimedia Commons)