there are no courses on
being an arse
none on earth, and aye none
on mars
and so this must be a serious
self-study
without nary needing a ballsy
bum buddy
try alone to find your second
rectum
befriend it, make it your
bestest chum
never sell out, gladly be a
piece of poop
who craps integrity forever
on loop
and through all the spewing
of shit
you’ll find eureka; scream
“this is it!”
“this is why I was the best
of sperm
the squiggliest of all
squiggly worms
this is my one true triumphant
goal
this fetid flowering of my heroic hole!”
and while life might insist that you lump
stay focused on your
dastardly dump
and while the world may not
understand
we know that with a bidet spray in hand
we may not always part seas
like Moses
or that life may not always
smell of roses
but honour and joy can
be found through turd
by the big breath hold of our
constipated word.
ram cobain
