from when he was in the incubator
Li’l Hank was a serial masturbator
hours in the crib were happily spent
turning his bed sheet into a tent
he’d welcome the nurses with a poke
and gurgle with glee like it were a joke
but think not that he was a lonely child
for his time alone was indeed quite wild
you could say he was a naughty elf
who just liked to keep to himself
And as the hallways echoed with his moan
Handjob Hank, he thus came to be known
and as he practiced week after week
he honed and handcrafted his technique
he started with a gentle spurt on the floor
then graduated to shoot it out of the door
next he learnt to come in acrobatic loops
and in single file like marching war troops
sometimes he’d bring out a long sperm snake
sometimes enough to fill a small lake
and even when his pecker-pistol fired a blank
it was just a matter of one more wank
and for half an hour’s worth of happy trouble
he could easily ejaculate a shiny jizz bubble
aye, like a wizard with two magic wands
there was real sorcery in his hands
then one day he jerked off so hard
that his semen coagulated into lard
“Eww, what could be worse?” should you utter
Handjob Hank used it – as cooking butter.
ram cobain
